Sunday, February 13, 2011

It's the thought that counts



Maybe it’s happened to you – on a birthday, a Christmas, even a Valentine’s Day.  You open a gift, and discover that the object inside is well, awful.  It’s ugly, it’s the wrong size, there is no gift receipt, and you cannot imagine any circumstances in which you would ever use this gift.
And then – if you’re lucky – you remember what your parents taught you at childhood birthdays when your friends or grandparents gave you something you absolutely positively didn’t want…
“It’s the thought that counts.”

After those birthdays, probably your parents made you write a thank you note.  So you gritted your teeth and said thank you.  The giver was happy, Mom and Dad were satisfied, and sooner or later you got over your disappointment.
But Jesus isn’t done with us there.  Jesus wants us to be genuinely delighted by the gift
(the hideous, unuseable, un-returnable awful present). 
Writing a nice thank you note is right, but it’s not the path of righteousness, of the kingdom of God.

Because it’s the thought that counts.

You have heard it said, Jesus tells the disciples, that you shall not murder.  And I say to you that you shall not be angry.  You shall not be furious or resentful with anyone; instead, when there is anger in your heart, you shall drop whatever you are doing and resolve it.

When Jesus talks about “leaving your gift before the altar” he doesn’t have our Sunday morning worship in mind.   He’s thinking about a person in the middle of one of the mandatory big high holy day services at the Temple in Jerusalem – a service that’s taken two weeks off work and a major chunk of the household budget to attend – remembering a grudge against a brother-in-law who never pays back what he borrows or a co-worker who keeps lying.

And Jesus says that person is to walk out of the middle of the Temple sacrifice, travel several days back home, confront the person, offer compromise, whatever it takes to work out the problem for good – and then walk the several days journey back to Jerusalem to finish the service.  (The service the Law says you must attend, which will have ended while you’re on the road.) 
Jesus says that’s following the Law.

The law against murder – a law easy to agree on and not really that hard to follow – is a good and necessary law.  But righteousness – having a good, holy relationship with God – does not depend on keeping that lousy brother-in-law alive.  Following God’s law truly depends on abolishing the root of murder - keeping our hearts free from anger and fear and resentment. 
It’s not enough that you said thank you for the lousy present, and it’s not enough that you never had any intention of killing (or even smacking) the lousy brother-in-law. 
God wants gratitude and forgiveness from our whole hearts. 
Because it’s the thought that counts.

In today’s gospel, we hear Jesus talk about the Ten Commmandments, about adultery and murder, and swearing in the name of God. And Jesus’ teaching on these is incredibly demanding, offering ways of truly following the Law that feel very close to impossible to live out.  The week-long round trip to reconcile with the neighbor in the middle of a one-day mandatory Temple festival is a good example.  So is redefining adultery to include legally permitted divorce; so is cutting off your hand, or ripping out your eye.

It’s not a at all a comfortable lesson to take seriously, to preach, or even to hear.  Jesus knows that.  He’s just reminded us that we are to be salt to the earth and light to the world, bringing zest and clarity to life all around us.  And now he points out that living righteousness, living lives that shine with God’s light, is much more than following the letter of the law.

The letter of the law helps: Saying thank you when we wish we’d gotten something different, keeping our hands in our pockets when we’d love to wrap them around the neck of the person driving us crazy, staying out of our neighbors’ marriages, and telling the truth under oath are necessary.
We learn gratitude, and forgiveness, and honesty and healthy relationships by following the rules.
But to truly keep the law, we have to live with transformed hearts. 

Hearts that naturally resolve the lingering resentment before it gets in the way of our worship. 
Hearts that love the gift for the giver’s sake even before we write the thank you note. 
Those are hearts that give light to the world.

That’s why I’m so glad that Nancy and Marilyn proposed and planned our “Attitude of Gratitude” practice this month. Because you and I are already working, right now, on giving our whole hearts to God.  When we stop to remember and to write down and to talk about and celebrate our gratitude our hearts are healed and made ready for God’s law.

This past week, I started using the gratitude tracker and discovered that it’s really delightful to stop and write down the things I am grateful for: nephews, a cuddly cat, asparagus, music, the refreshing perspective of our first and second graders on prayer. 
And even though I thought I was pretty good at being grateful and open to God, I’ve been surprised at how much less worry and frustration I feel every day while I’m writing down the things I’m thankful for.
Every grateful thought is the door to a whole heart, given gratefully to God.  

This radical law of the heart is actually a wonderful place to live.   Because a heart that’s not weighed down by anger, or selfishness, or lust or half-truth is a heart with infinitely more room for joy and generosity, and love. 

Remember that awful present – the hideous one you’d never use that you still had to say thank you for?  Imagine opening that present and being genuinely, naturally, easily delighted by the care that someone took to find, make or purchase it for you.  Imagine not experiencing even a moment of disappointment.
Imagine never even feeling the resentment or the fear or betrayal at the behavior of a family member, neighbor or co-worker. 
Imagine a heart so whole that you never have a desire or an action that you’ll regret.

Those are the thoughts that count.
That’s why we practice saying thank you, saying we’re sorry, and keeping our hands to ourselves.  We practice to make our hearts whole.
Because when God has our whole hearts, we have hearts more whole than we ever imagined, and the world is full of light and life.