Who you know

John 14:1-14, Rite 13 Ceremony

Imagine that you’ve signed up for (or been talked into) a guided adventure: a wilderness hike, a tour of a new country, or even an urban project close to home. And at the peak of the adventure – when you know you’ve come to a place that’s really new to you, when you’re not quite sure how you got there or what the new surroundings mean – just then the guide announces that he is leaving, and from here on your group is on your own to finish the trip or the project.
Anyone feeling a little anxious?

That may be how the disciples felt when Jesus announced that he was leaving, and that the whole project – preaching, teaching, healing, transforming the world according to God’s purpose (nothing big…) is now up to them. Us.

Jesus does tell the disciples not to worry. That he’s going on ahead to prepare a place; and that they – we – know the way that he is going.
Caught on the edge of the wilderness, it’s no surprise that the disciples think this is less than helpful:
“Wait a minute,” says Thomas, “what do you mean we know the way? We have no idea where you’re going!”
“Yes you do,” says Jesus, “because you know me.”
You know the Way, because you know the Truth: you know what I have taught you, and know God’s word revealed in human flesh. You know the Life: God’s abundance and creative gifts that I have given you.
That’s the Way.

It’s not actually about instructions, it’s about relationships.

As we grow in faith, and as we do God’s work, everything that matters is in relationship. Not what we know, but who we know, and who we become, in relationship.

Think about the people you spend time with. Family and friends,and people at work and at school. Who has seen your secrets, your hopes and your dreams, and held them safe, and encouraged you to grow with them? Who do you trust? Hold those people in your mind and heart.

Now think about who you become when you are with them.
Do you become anxious, or do you become strong? Do you become funny and brilliant? Thoughtful or creative? Does this relationship make you lonely or afraid? Does it make you hopeful or well-loved? What kind of person do you become in this relationship?
As we grow, as we encounter the challenges of life, it’s who we turn to that shapes our path. It’s who we know.

When I was 14, I moved into the dorms at the Illinois Math and Science Academy with a whole bunch of other teenage nerds. In many ways, it was like standing on the edge of the promised land. Fun stuff to do in school. Exciting ideas and projects, and a sense that we could change the world.  And no parents!

But after orientation, once the deadlines loomed and the work was hard, I began to feel lost. As if the guide had disappeared. I had signed up for this great adventure – but I hadn’t realized that I was going to have to navigate on my own quite so soon.

Now, not everybody goes to nerd school, and I imagine many of you would not think that it’s the promised land, either.
But we all go through adolescence. New experiences. A glimpse of the promised land of adulthood. New privileges; new responsibilities. And the discovery that the guides that got us here don’t seem quite as helpful as they used to. It’s hopeful, powerful, anxious and confusing at the same time.
It can happen at other points in our life: marriage, births or deaths. Job loss or a sudden promotion or moving to a new home. And we find ourselves, halfway through the adventure, wondering where we go from here and why the guide seems to have left.
In those times of wilderness: adventure, hope, privilege and responsibility, it’s never the how-to that really shows us the way. It’s not the best method to feed the baby, pick up the pieces, do the job or solve the problem of the day that we really need (though we often want it.)
It’s the relationships. The people we turn to who walk with us even if they don’t have answers.

In the first semester at IMSA I called home all the time. (My poor parents!)
When I asked, they couldn’t give me directions on how to like the change around me and inside me, instructions on how to meet challenges with delight and confidence instead of anxiety.
All they could tell me was what I already knew:
We love you, and we want you to be well. How you get there doesn’t matter.

And that was the way.
Not step-by-step instructions for each challenge, but remembering who I was whether I passed the test or shrunk everything I owned in the laundry.

Today’s gospel, like the Rite 13 ceremony that we will celebrate today, assures us that when we are lost – or found – in the middle of a great adventure it’s not the map, the instructions, or even the place we end up that matters.
On a journey to adulthood, or to the kingdom of God, it’s who we know.
It’s who we become, in relationship: Funnier, wiser and more aware in our relationships with our friends. Stronger and braver in our relationship with our families. More creative, loving, and well-loved in our relationship with God and our community.

In relationship we can become trustful and trustworthy people (that’s as true of parents with their children as of children with their parents!) because when we know well, and are well known, it doesn’t matter if independence is frustrating, our hopes don’t seem to come true, or if we don’t know where we’re going,
because we do know the Way.

[Rite 13 Celebrities:] I thought I would like to give you advice in this sermon.
But then I realized that the ceremony we are about to celebrate has all the advice I could give you, at least today, because it is about relationships.

Instead of advice, I – we! – need to be there for you:
To know you as you are, and as you grow and change. To let you know us, your faith community and your friends. To answer your questions honestly, even when we don’t have the Answers. To trust you, and to be worthy of your trust.
And to be proud of you. We ARE proud of you.

It’s a privilege, today, to share God’s delight in you, and to remember with you Jesus’ promise and commandments: that in relationship we know the Way, and in relationship, we can do more than we imagine.